do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize