At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
