So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Randomize
