Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
