take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
