Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize