No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Let's paint friendship bongs
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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