She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize