ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize