she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Life is so much better after having sex.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
The feeling are messing with the penis
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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