True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You were trust falling into bushes
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
