Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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