is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
