Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
we're so committed to being not committed
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
