How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize