Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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