Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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