I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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