I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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