In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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