Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
