Texts From Last Night

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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.

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  (828): proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing. http://tfl.nu/uzza
  Replies (71) Good night (20538) Bad night (854) Order T-Shirt
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  (1-917): View more from New York City

  you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...

  (917): View more from New York City

  oh thats it?

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  (1-917): you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around... (917): oh thats it? http://tfl.nu/beq9
  Replies (7) Good night (4468) Bad night (443)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."

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  (612): the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear." http://tfl.nu/uaxy
  Replies (19) Good night (9142) Bad night (792) Order T-Shirt
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins

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  (856): are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins http://tfl.nu/byok
  Replies (16) Good night (3653) Bad night (1086) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops

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  (757): He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops http://tfl.nu/nwlp
  Replies (28) Good night (6717) Bad night (936) Order T-Shirt
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...

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  (320): Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting... http://tfl.nu/4ynh
  Replies (23) Good night (1850) Bad night (5221)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.

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  (540): we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate. http://tfl.nu/t1ac
  Replies (7) Good night (3374) Bad night (1260) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.

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  (860): I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax. http://tfl.nu/od6q
  Replies (11) Good night (694) Bad night (2593) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.

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  (918): I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing. http://tfl.nu/z0n7
  Replies (49) Good night (1315) Bad night (3447) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why did I wake up holding food tongs?

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  (570): Why did I wake up holding food tongs? http://tfl.nu/i1yj
  Replies (6) Good night (1649) Bad night (684) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.

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  (210): If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already. http://tfl.nu/pwun
  Replies (7) Good night (2428) Bad night (838) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.

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  (914): He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck. http://tfl.nu/kvtv
  Replies (10) Good night (2363) Bad night (677) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days

  (1-910): View more from North Carolina

  you have got to get your shit together

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  (910): dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days (1-910): you have got to get your shit together http://tfl.nu/bju9
  Replies (11) Good night (404) Bad night (1392) Order T-Shirt
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...

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  (228): how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it... http://tfl.nu/36tz
  Replies (5) Good night (593) Bad night (757) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.

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  (585): By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some. http://tfl.nu/uaz4
  Replies (5) Good night (996) Bad night (298) Order T-Shirt

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