I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
