glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
