I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
