you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Houston, we have a squirter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize