hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
