my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
