I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Those nachos came to me in a dream
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
