The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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