THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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