I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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