Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
