This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
the condom got lost in my hair
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
