what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
