i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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