Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm having to shit out rocks
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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