He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
