Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
