I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
