AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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