its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
We left the knife in your bed.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
