How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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