i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
