So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
