I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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