Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
there's paper in my vomit.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
