dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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