What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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