WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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