in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
