Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
They have beer where we have blood.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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