yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
