He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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