I can't breathe out the right side of my face
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
