Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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