i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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