i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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