But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
MIDGETS
????
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
