You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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